Fairytales
by KookieKrazy
Summary: The mermaids look over Fairytales and edit them to make sense.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Mermaid Melody. I do, however, own the Fairytale rewrites. :D**

Lucia sighed, sprinting to her friend Noel. Noel was going to the Library, and Lucia wanted to tag along.

Once inside, Lucia looked around for something to read while Noel did a report...or something like that.

That's when she caught sight of it.

The mermaid princess quickly snatched the book titled _Fairytales. _It sounded...interesting..

After checking out the hardcover, she ran home, forgetting about the deep blue princess still in the library.

"Hanon, Rina, Caren, Coco!" Lucia panted.

"Hm?" The girls turned, looking at the pink pearl princess.

"What's up?"

"Look!" Lucia pointed to the book.

"Isn't this stuff popular in America or something?" Caren asked.

"Um.. I've never heard of _'Fairytales'. _I have no clue..." Rina looked quizzically at the cover.

The aquamarine mermaid shook her head. "I don't know anything about them either."

"Let's see the book then!" Lucia excitedly grinned, and joined the girls at the table.

They flipped open the book, reading the Table of Contents with only slight difficulty.

"Er.. Rumplestiltskin?" Seira picked the title randomly, and flipped to the page.

They read the story quietly, pausing once in a while to shake their heads.

"This is _so _wrong." Hanon cried, putting a hand to her forehead.

"I think Americans call stuff like this 'cliched'," Coco added, flipping through a dictionary.

"_What _does cliched mean?" The orange pearl owner questioned.

"It means everything is _very_ coincidental... " Caren replied.

"Ah, okay." Hanon nodded. She pulled out a felt tip marker, and began to rewrite the story.

"There was a miller who had the daughter, with the beauty even more than that of a mermaid."

She pulled random markers out for the others, and then passed the book to Rina.

"Not possible!" Coco giggled. "We're _sooo _pretty!"

Rina shrugged. "On with the details! Er.. ah. Her name was..." She paused.

"I'm obviously the prettiest!" Hanon spat.

"No, I am!" Lucia countered.

"Who's the prettiest here? Me, of course!" Coco shot back.

"Wait.." Seira quieted down the others. "We can use all of our names."

"That's not possible!" Lucia argued.

"She can't possibly have that many names!" Caren agreed.

"Canoco Luhari!" Coco smirked. "All of our names."

"..." The girls were silent. Rina wrote the name down and passed the storybook on, until it was finished.

"Okay."

"Erm.. Caren, read it!" Lucia quickly shoved the book into the purple princess' hands.

"Okay.." Caren flipped open the cover.

"Rumplestiltskin - The Version that makes sense.

There once was a miller who had a daughter, with the beauty even more than that of a mermaid. She was named Canoco Luhari. The miller was a greedy man, trying in every way to use his daughter to earn money. Then, one day, he had to deliver flour to the royal cook. He was a boastful guy, and as soon as he'd dropped the flour basket onto the royal kitchen counter, he babbled to the cook, 'My daughter made this! She can--' He paused to think of the most talented thing he could. '--spin gold on a flower!' He wanted to slap himself. That was _stupid. _'I..I mean..' The cook cut him off with a raised eyebrow and a 'O...Okay..?'

At dinnertime, the cook questioned quietly, 'Your Highness, the Miller says his child can spin _gold _on a _flower.. _is that possible?' The King was very gullible, and cried, without stopping to answer her question, 'I want to meet such Miller's...' He paused. 'Son.' 'Daughter,' she corrected.'Yes..' The next day, he met Canoco. He announced she would show her unique "talent". He locked her in the royal greenhouse. 'Psst.' Canoco was alarmed. A slightly short man appeared seemingly out of nowhere."

Caren stopped. "I'm out of breath," She complained. She hurled it at Coco. The yellow pearl's owner caught it and continued.

"'Wassup, girly?' The man asked. 'People are always boasting and getting their heads cut off because they've lied.' He shook his head. 'Need help?' After a few moments, Canoco realized he was going to help her and nodded. 'Okay. So, what'd you boast about?' 'It wasn't me!' Canoco shouted. 'Okay, okay..just, what do you have to do?' 'Spin gold on a flower.' The short man blinked. '_What?!?!' _He took a few steps back. 'Impossible. But, you can have these spools of gold. Put them around you flowers and the King will _assume _they've come from the flowers. In return, I want cake.' He thought for a second. 'And soda.' 'O...Kay?' And the scene was set up immediately.

The King was pleased. "Well done, Canoco." But the cook, Selma, was a teensy bit suspicious, and hid in the greenhouse that night to see if the girl could really spin _gold _on a _flower, _as he father had claimed. She was ready with a piece of cheesecake and some cherry soda, in case she got hungry. Selma accidentally dropped the cake, and watched unhappily as the fork stabbbed into the cake, the cherry soda following it, and landed in Canoco's hands. She sweatdropped."

Coco halted to a stop. "My share of reading is **done**." She flung the book torwards Rina.

"Canoco saw the little man, and waved him over. He saw his share of the deal, and hurried over. In mere seconds, everything had vanished. It took a few minutes for ditzy Canoco to realize he'd eaten _everything, _including the can, plate and fork. Canoco made a face. Selma glared down at them. She could make no sound--she was _spying, _after all. But if she could've, it would probably go along the lines of, 'You shitty bastard! That's my favorite plate!' Selma grimaced.

'I never got your name,' Canoco said. 'Cake,' the elf-like boy stated cooly. '_Cake?_' Canoco repeated. 'Yup. You?' He asked. 'C..Canoco..' She stuttered. In hiding, Selma silently scoffed, 'This is boring! Say something like...I don't know, _Steal more gold from the vault, Wanna get a room, SOMETHING, _and my job will be done!!! We'll be good! I'll be able to eat!!'

Selma pressed her head into the branch. With a yawn, she woke to sunlight. Woke? 'AAAAAAAUGH!!!!!' Selma sputtered. A young maid heard the yell, and quickly rushed to her. 'Cook Selma, you need to make the wedding cake!'"

Rina groaned. "I'm tired." She pushed the book over to Lucia.

"'Wedding cake?!?!?!' Selma cried. The maid nodded. 'Hurry, Cook.' Selma shrivled up and died on the inside, but rushed to the kitchen. The King and Canoco were married, and Cake got an endless supply of cake, and everyone (excluding Selma) was happy for the rest of their days."

The girls all went down to the beach to relax their aching wrists and throats. When they were rested enough, they played a few games of volleyball and left, except Lucia, who flirted with Kaito, who just finished surfing.

Noel and Lucia came back, and they all slept over in the pink pearl owner's room.

-----

_The next day..._

Hanon yawned, getting up from the floor.

She accidentally stepped on Rina, and the green mermaid quickly fluttered her eyes open.

"What the HELL?!?!?" Rina spat.

"G..Gomen..." Hanon quickly sputtered.

"What the fuck are you doing so damn early?" An extremely cranky Caren cried.

"Well, I was getting up, and I tripped over Rina, and Rina got mad, then you woke up, then--"

"Then everyone else woke up," Coco and Lucia sighed.

"O...Ohaiyo!" Noel greeted, causing the other mermaids to sweatdrop.

After getting dressed, taking baths, brushing their teeth, and eating breakfast, the mermaids crowded around the small, colorful book.

"The Little Mermaid!"

The mermaids quickly chose to read the little mermaid. It _was _about mermaids, after all.

After finishing the story, the girls quickly announced, "There's nothing wrong with it!"

Hanon nodded. "It made _perfect sense!"_

"Not cliched even a tiny bit!" Lucia agreed.

"Absolutely fantastic!"

They all gave a thumbs up and went downstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Mermaid Melody, but I do own the Fairytale rewrites!**

"Now what?"

Coco grinnned. "How about Rapunzel?"

"Great. Let's get to work!"

After reading it, the mermaids knew what they had to do.

"Last time, we all got it. This time...?"

"Draw a piece of paper from the hat," Seira suggested. The others nodded and wrote their names on scraps of paper bag.

"...Hanon." Caren read.

The girls quickly took colored pencils from a box they found in Lucia's room, and got to work.

"The Un-Cliched...Rapunzel!" Seira awkwardly announced.

"...Hey, wait a second. Why'd you make me have hard to handle, lice-filled hair?"

"You never wash your hair or get a brush in the Fairytale," Lucia explained. "It's only realistic."

"...Caren can have this one," Hanon grinned.

"Don't want it."

"Well, I don't either! Make.. I don't know, some random Dark Lover take it!"

"Okay.. I think Yuuri has the longest hair. Right?"

"I...guess..."

"Alright..."

The mermaids went through the book, changing every 'Hanon' to 'Yuuri'.

"Skip to the good part!"

"Yuuri had the ugliest, most bug-infected hair in the world that she actually got into the book of world records for it." Hanon couldn't help but giggle.

"That's _wrong." _Seira blinked a couple of times.

"She was captured in her birthday suit right after she was born."

"She didn't have a brush."

"She lived in rags."

"She..." Rina paused. "_Had a rash? _Who's idea was _that?_"

"Yuuri was dirty," Hanon interrupted. "She had to have _something._"

"Still! A _rash?!?!"_

"Just go on with the story, please."

"She was locked in a castle, and since she was gullible, she believed a witch put her in there. "

"She didn't notice there was a door out."

"People trampled on her hair, and it hurt. They just said, 'Yuuri, let down your hair.' After she did, they'd kick it and trample it and climb on it. The barber was scared to give her a haircut. Her life was horrible. And one day, they killed her because she gave some peoples' children lice. The End." Caren closed the book.

"..."

"o0."

"o.o."

"Dang."

"Ooo...kay..."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I listened to that crazy sugary pop stuff I said I wouldn't to write this. My brain was thoroughly dead, don't blame me. XD (At least I updated) I don't own Mermaid Melody.**

"Oww!"

"Oops. Who bumped me?"

"Who knows?" Rina snapped, flustered.

"..Why is everyone on that chair?" Seira wondered aloud, quirking an eyebrow.

"We made a deal. The person sitting on this chair gets to choose the story we rewrite today," Hanon explained cheerfully, elbowing Coco in the face.

"How rude! To treat a princess like this - my council would have your pearl for that!"

"Coco, we're equals here," Noel reminded her with a sigh.

Quite suddenly, the whole chair toppled over, and the princesses fell in a heap.

"You're heavy."

"I am NOT!" Hanon retorted loudly, in case the person underneath her couldn't hear.

Seira stared at the mess while the princesses tried to seperate themselves. She got an idea and acted on it, swiftly pulling the chair from her much heavier elders and sitting on it.

"........"

"Now. We will rewrite the Princess and the Pea," Seira declared.

"I don't - "

"A deal's a deal," Rina admitted, cutting off Caren.

The group sighed and pulled chairs up, ready with their multicoloured pens.

After a good four hours, the visibly tired mermaids glared expectantly at Seira.

She grinned back, and started to read.

"In the middle of the night, a car pulled up to a castle."

"What a car? I don't see anything wrong with there being a carriage. And that's weird."

"No it's not, you're just obsessed with this story," Caren noted, being the one who had made the correction with a swirly purple-blue gel pen.

"Whatever," Lucia snapped back, and rolled her eyes.

"The people inside the car were some mofo gangstas," Seira continued, pronunciating the words with a Japanese accent.

"...Who wrote that?!"

"I did." Rina nodded approvingly.

"WHY?"

"Well, why else would the people living in the house let her in? Like gosh."

The other princesses couldn't deny her logic.

"They let them in, shaking with FEAR," Seira continued, her voice going high on the word "fear".

"Then, the people living inside the house - the unmofo gangstas - were all "omfg I'mma diie so ummmm let us let them rest on some gangsta bed" and they did. But somebody stupid put a friggin pea under the matress and the mofo gangstas were allergic to peas!"

"What is with _all this language?!_" Lucia cried suddenly.

"C'mon Lucia, you know the Princess and the Pea was written to be boss." Rina continued, shocking everyone at the table. She had written over everyone else's corrections, butchering the story to her liking.

Confused, the group flipped through. Every page was marked with a neon green gel pen.

"Then one of the mofo gangstas died and the unmofo gangstas were all omg whaddowedoooo and so they made the remaining mofo gansta a princess. She killed her country and sentenced the unmofo gangstas to life in prison. The End." Seira's voice cracked at the end, tears filling her eyes.

"THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!"

"...Excuse me?" Lucia turned to face Seira, a look of disbelief plastered on her features.

"Everyone knows that to have a touching story there must be some crazy stupid idea that you pull outta your ass! Everyone!" Rina declared. Seira nodded and the rest facepalmed in despair.


End file.
